Plague 2020#4
May. 13th, 2020 09:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geowenchHow are you, friends? Please write a short post, even if it's just, "I'm alive and the world is one fire."
It's been almost a month again since my last post. I really do mean to post more regularly, but nothing really happens and time gets away from me. I keep thinking it's still March, but it's the middle of May already ...
I had a few weeks where I definitely felt overwhelmed with gloom and despair, but then I decided I need something really lighthearted to read, and so I have started rereading one of my favorite series from childhood, the Chalet School books. For the last few nights I've not even watched anything, just read. I've finished the first 3 and am onto #4. I’m enjoying them tremendously, and they really help me take myself out of the current shitshow that this world has become. Today I saw a new graph which says that although the total cases in the U.S., are still increasing, that is a result of increased testing and that the percentage of positives is actually decreasing. The first hopeful thing I’ve read in about a million years. Of course we are about to undo it all with reopening.
I'm still working at home. Surprisingly, OSU had decided to keep the campus “closed to visitors” until July 7, so I will probably (but who knows) be home until at least then, and I may be able to stay home longer with a note from my dr. saying that I’m high risk. I do want to keep my job, since E said that at his faculty meeting yesterday the chair mentioned the possibilities of furloughs. E is tenured, so it is unlikely, especially because there are five new untenured profs in his department who would go first. But still, things are so uncertain, I don’t want to take a “Go ahead and fire me, I'm not coming back to the office” attitude. I want keep on everyone’s good side, work hard and keep my bloody job safe. And since we are money makers for the university, and I’m a top producer, I think my job *is* relatively safe, as long I keep being a good little worker bee. Sigh. What time to live in.
It's been almost a month again since my last post. I really do mean to post more regularly, but nothing really happens and time gets away from me. I keep thinking it's still March, but it's the middle of May already ...
I had a few weeks where I definitely felt overwhelmed with gloom and despair, but then I decided I need something really lighthearted to read, and so I have started rereading one of my favorite series from childhood, the Chalet School books. For the last few nights I've not even watched anything, just read. I've finished the first 3 and am onto #4. I’m enjoying them tremendously, and they really help me take myself out of the current shitshow that this world has become. Today I saw a new graph which says that although the total cases in the U.S., are still increasing, that is a result of increased testing and that the percentage of positives is actually decreasing. The first hopeful thing I’ve read in about a million years. Of course we are about to undo it all with reopening.
I'm still working at home. Surprisingly, OSU had decided to keep the campus “closed to visitors” until July 7, so I will probably (but who knows) be home until at least then, and I may be able to stay home longer with a note from my dr. saying that I’m high risk. I do want to keep my job, since E said that at his faculty meeting yesterday the chair mentioned the possibilities of furloughs. E is tenured, so it is unlikely, especially because there are five new untenured profs in his department who would go first. But still, things are so uncertain, I don’t want to take a “Go ahead and fire me, I'm not coming back to the office” attitude. I want keep on everyone’s good side, work hard and keep my bloody job safe. And since we are money makers for the university, and I’m a top producer, I think my job *is* relatively safe, as long I keep being a good little worker bee. Sigh. What time to live in.
So for a few years now, really since I’ve met/found my brother, I’ve felt like this was all I need, and that I’d be OK with dying now. And now I’m realizing that I’m not really OK with it. I want to stay alive, if only to find out what happens. How does this covid story end? Do we find a vaccine and/or way to treat it? Does the world ever go back to crowded restaurants and shopping and travelling? Will I get to go to museums again? I really want to know.
