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November (19)
Dec. 10th, 2018 01:12 pm So 2018 is apparently the year that Vietnamese immigrants discovered FB? After the big dramatic discovery of my brother and his family via FB in January of 2018, I have another FB discovery/drama story to tell you. The day before Thanksgiving I am at work (in my office at OSU) and a letter (an actual, handwritten snail mail letter) arrives for me. It is from a Vietnamese man named Matthew (his chosen western name, obviously). It was clear from the way the letter was addressed that the person had copied my info from FB. I'm sort of amazed the letter actually got to me, that some person in the OSU mailroom took the time to look me up and send it to my office. Anyway, the minute I saw the envelop with the Vietnamese last name, I knew exactly who it was - my father had often spoken about this man, who had been his translator during his first tour of duty in Vietnam, so like 1965-66. The letter included a photocopy of a note I had written him as a teenager to verify who he was. So basically this man has been trying to find my father and to apologize for some horrible transgression that made my father cut him off completely some 20 years ago. His horrible, unforgivable crime? He told my family in Vietnam (ie MY MOTHER) that my father and I were alive and that perhaps my father could sponsor my brother to the US. And for this my father has refused to have anything to do with him, and Matthew is begging for forgiveness.
Of course my father cut ME off circa 2002, so there's not much I can do for this poor fellow. E says I should write him and tell him that my brother made it to the US and we have been reunited, and that *I* certainly forgive him and indeed am grateful that he let my mother know that I was still alive. I can offer to send the letter for my father to my aunt (my father's sister) who could then forward it to him.
The assholery of my father is a never ending wonder. E once told me that he wasn't surprised my father cut me off because how could he bear to look at me and be reminded of his crimes? I thought that was melodramatic at the time, but now I suspect there is merit to this theory. I guess I *want* there to be merit to this theory, because it is better than accepting that my father is a gigantic shithole without remorse.
So yeah. Otherwise not so much happened in November, at least not that I can remember. Except for when it was disgustingly cold (like 20F) I did a good job with my walking, but I'm not up to recapping my goals - will do that at the end of December, I suppose, and see how I fared this year overall with my self-improvement. We are still waiting to hear if our visa applications will be approved. We haven't been rejected yet, so we take that as a good sign.
It's not time to sum up the year yet, but I just have to say that 2018 has been the most significant year of my adult life. This time last year I was so so sick and depressed and pretty sure my life was basically over. Then 2018 came along and knocked me flat out. It has been extraordinary.
Of course my father cut ME off circa 2002, so there's not much I can do for this poor fellow. E says I should write him and tell him that my brother made it to the US and we have been reunited, and that *I* certainly forgive him and indeed am grateful that he let my mother know that I was still alive. I can offer to send the letter for my father to my aunt (my father's sister) who could then forward it to him.
The assholery of my father is a never ending wonder. E once told me that he wasn't surprised my father cut me off because how could he bear to look at me and be reminded of his crimes? I thought that was melodramatic at the time, but now I suspect there is merit to this theory. I guess I *want* there to be merit to this theory, because it is better than accepting that my father is a gigantic shithole without remorse.
So yeah. Otherwise not so much happened in November, at least not that I can remember. Except for when it was disgustingly cold (like 20F) I did a good job with my walking, but I'm not up to recapping my goals - will do that at the end of December, I suppose, and see how I fared this year overall with my self-improvement. We are still waiting to hear if our visa applications will be approved. We haven't been rejected yet, so we take that as a good sign.
It's not time to sum up the year yet, but I just have to say that 2018 has been the most significant year of my adult life. This time last year I was so so sick and depressed and pretty sure my life was basically over. Then 2018 came along and knocked me flat out. It has been extraordinary.
