geowench

 We've been back in Prague for about ten days, following our two week trip back home.  I was NOT looking, forward to going back to OK, but I have to day, I really enjoyed being back home, and in a weird way it was like a vacation.  I saw my friends, I ate a lot, I bought some clothes, and I didn't do any exercise.  It was great!

Coming back was rather rough.  It's a  long journey - even when all goes smoothly, it's still over a 24 trip, and plus, we've both had a rather more difficult time adjusting to the time change this time.  Our new apartment is quite nice, although I was rather miffed to discover that our "fully furnished" apartment did not have some basic necessities - like toilet paper.  The apartment *is* fully furnished and comes with bed linens and basic kitchen neccessities, but no towels, and other basics things like soap and TP were also missing.  This meant that instead of being able to clean up after our long journey, we had to immediately go back out and buy shit.  Thankfully we knew just where to go and how to get there, and I had remember to bring a big shopping bag this time, so away we went to Tesco, where we bought towels and a bath mat, TP, soap, laundry detergent, and a few groceries, including the ever important coffee.  We then immediately showered and were so exhausted that we napped for a few hours before getting up and going out for some dinner.  Next day E went back to work, and I went back to my normal routine of working.  

Physically the apartment is much more comfortable than the old place.  There is a proper table for me to work at, and the couch and armchair are quite comfy.  It has been very hot, and there is no AC, so I bought a fan, and manage to not overheat with the use of ice packs in the afternoon and evening.  But today it is lovely and cool, which is a nice change.  

 And the first leg of our Praha sojourn ends in less than three weeks.  I am looking forward to going home for a few weeks.  It's amazing how much you learn about what you love when you are away from it.

Anyway, since my last post, we spent a long weekend in mountains at a villa/chalet/lodge, whatever you want to call it in Pec pod Sněžkou.  We had a nice time, although as my friend oldblack commented, the "friend/family" situation was a bit rough. It's quite pretty up there, and we took a funicular up to the top of the mountain where we were able to step foot into Poland.  This was also very pretty, but I must say, I am super spoiled having spent chunks of my childhood in the Sierra Nevadas.  All of this was reminescent of the mountains I already know and love but honestly, not as spectacular.  But don't tell anyone.  On the way home we stopped at the village of Kuks to be touristy and have a big meal with a bunch of Czechs.  

The next weekend we stayed in Prague and went to the Agricultural Museum (interesting, but smaller than expected) and the Transportation Museum (which just a bunch of old cable cars), and then walked for awhile in Mala Strana along the Vlatava River, which was extremely pleasant.  

Tuesday Eric stayed home from work so we could go look at some apartments to possibly rent in the fall, but it was put off, so instead we went to the Klemintinum, which OMG is the pretty much the most amazing thing in Prague.  You must take a tour to see any of it, and you can only stand at one end of that spectacular library and peep in for a few seconds, but it is absolutely worth it.  After the library bit, you climb and climb and climb up to the astronomy tower where you get a fabulous view of the city.  Now quite sure how I managed to make it up and then back down (which is always hte more difficult part for me) those treacherous, spiraling, wooden staircases (you'd never take tourists up/down such a thing in the States) without killing myself, but yay me, I did it.

Then yesterday was a national holiday.  We didn't want to brave the crowds for anything touristy, so we took a short walk at Rangherka, which is near our apartment.  It is a former silk factory and has some small gardens to walk in.  I had overdone it the previous day, so was not up for much more than a very short excursion.  Today I will stay home and work, except for getting groceries.

This weekend we were going to go out of town, but not sure that will happen now as our apartment viewing is now rescheudled (for the third time) for Friday morning.  If she puts us off again, I will give up on this agency.

I am still having bouts of overwhelming anxiety but doing my best to breathe through them and hang in there.  I feel like I am wasting my time here because I can't go out every day and walk for 10 kilometers exploring, but documenting here what we have done is actually the best remedy for that feeling.  

In the coming days I must find us a place to live, which is also making me anxious.  June/July are the height of hte season and I probably waited too long, argh.

So March ... was all about preparing for Prague and then finally getting here.  I'm not gonna do a real March recap, instead I want to set some intentions for April

Mainly I want to get myself out of the apartment for more than my quick daily sojourn to buy a few groceries.  However, I re-injured my damn Achilles tendon yesterday when we were out being touristy and climbing hills, so that is going to cramp my style.  So goals for April:

1) At least one solo excursion (that is not grocery shopping) each week while E is at work.

2) Continue ab workouts 2/3 times a week.

3) Buy some shoes that are (more) comfy to walk in (with the injured Achilles tendon, all the flat, comfy shoes I brought are too flat - I need to find something with a bit of a wedge heel), and possibly find a walking stick, or just suck it up and get a trekking pole, if I can find one.

4) Journal a couple of times a week, and also start my writing project.

5) Plan a weekend excursion to an ossuary.

6) Buy, write, and send postcards.  Also write a real letter to my Auntie, replying to her last bombshell of a letter.

(I know y'all don't need a by blow over every day, but I've pretty much written one for myself because I haven't done any journaling yet and I don't want to forget.)

Well, we are here at long last!  Arrived Wednesday after about a 24 hour journey.  Thankfully we were picked up at the airport by one of E's Czech grad students (he is not teaching, but is supervising a couple of PhD students here).  He dropped us off at our AirBnB and informed us that we were due to have dinner with some people in 2 hours, yikes.

We checked out our apartment, which is quite nice, and larger than expected, and freshened up a bit, then checked google maps and headed down to the tram station (about a 7 minute walk) to go to the restaurant which  was chosen to be easy for us to get to.  So we ate with a bunch of E's colleagues. 

Let me take a minute to write a love song to the marinated, fried cheese that is a Czech speciality:  Cheese, I love you, and I expect to return to OK twice as fat and twice as happy.  

I was absolutely dropping after two hours, so we cut it short and came back and crashed into bed.

Next day E had to go to work!  We had no food, but I had brought some instant Starbucks coffee, so we drank that black and then he headed off to the Czech Academy of Sciences, and I was left to try and figure out how to get us some groceries.  After wandering around a bit, I found the local grocery store and bought as much as I could carry in the one bag I had brought with me.  Even though it's a small neighborhood grocer, they had a good 30 or so types of fresh bread/rolls, and three aisles of cheese.  OMG.  Did I mention the fatter and happier thing yet?  Then I tried to log onto work, which I was unable to do.  Ah well.  We went out to dinner that night, and had a mediocre meal at a local pub.

Friday E again went off to work and I had to figure out how to work long distance.  Eventually I was able to get myself logged onto the server longlong distance and so got my hours in.  I also bought a few more groceries so that I could make dinner that night.

Saturday we did the touristy thing and took the tram to the center of Prague where we walked across Charles Brdige and up (and up, and up) to the castle, then walked back down and across the bridge again, then walked to the astronomical clock.  Even though it's still March, the numbers of tourists are astonishing.  I'm glad we did this excursion when we did because I cannot imagine doing it at the height of the season.  Anyway, it was only midafternoon after all that, but I was exhausted, so we took the tram back home and took a nap.  (I am not as spry as I used to be, but I am definitely in much better shape than I have been the last two years -- I would never have been able to do all those steps on our last two European adventures.)  I again cooked dinner.

Sunday our big adventure was to take the tram to the big Tesco Extra (an English chain, go figure) to stock up on groceries.  So this place was like a Walmart or a Target, covering 2 floors (with cart escalators, very exciting to us Okie yokels).  It was just part of an enourmous shopping mall.  We walked around a bit and bought a coffee maker and then went in to Tesco for some groceries.  We had both brought our backpacks (you have to pay for plastic bags at grocery stores) to carry the groceries home, plus I bought a cute little burlap shopper for my local shopping excursions.  After another nap (jet lag is real), we went out for dinner at a very nice place that was a big improvement over the previous place.  I anticipate this place becoming a regular spot for us.

So that brings us to today, which is Monday.  E is at work, and I am here at the apartment, working away.  I took a nice long midway walk, and made myself some lunch.  I've got dinner (chicken thighs and potatoes, plus a salad) prepped and ready to go in the oven in  bit.  My plan is to make myself leave the apartment every day (unless it is storming) to take a walk and explore a bit and get some exercise.  On today's walk I found a pho restaurant and two donner kabob places, which I am thrilled about.  

So that is life in Prague.  Very pleasant - more so than I expected, actually.  Spring is definitely here and my winter gloom and doom seems very far away.  I need to set some goals for myself, because there are definitely things I want to accomplish while I'm here.  

In the meantime ... there are already four varieties of cheese in my fridge, and they are asking to be eaten.

Well we bought our plane tickets and I have reserved and paid an apartment for 2 months.  It is this one if you are interested.  I have ordered a big Delsey suitcase from Amazon and bought a new laptop and accoutrements to use exclusively for work.  I still need a new phone (my current one has had a terribly cracked screen for over a year), but other than that, hopefully the money hemorrhage can slow down now.  It's fine, I've been saving for this outlay, but still, it's a bit of a gulp to throw all that cash around at once.  So far I've managed to resist the temptation to buy a bunch of new clothes, although I did order some new bras and a swim top that all had to be sent back.  But I really don't need anything except a good raincoat, which I can't seem to find, so I'll just make do with the crappy one I already have.  

Am home today because the university is closed again due to "extreme wind chill."  It was 7F this morning, although it's warmed up to nearly freezing now that it's afternoon.  SO tired of this winter, but I shouldn't complain - at least no tornados like they had a few states over in Alabama.

January was a sort of unusual month for me. E left for Japan on Jan 2 (and came back Feb 1), which is by far the longest we’ve been apart since the very early days of our relationship when he would occasionally go to Ireland for 5 weeks for his PhD work.  I decided that instead of being lonely and gloomy, that I would put aside my annoyance with my “friends” and see them while he was gone.  So the first weekend I went to see R and the second weekend I met up with L (my gradschool friends).  The third weekend, I met up with my old friend SO in Galveston for a long weekend.  Then the final weekend in January was my work’s biannual conference in Tulsa.  So I have been both unusually social, and unusually quiet/alone. 

 

Hanging out with SO really impressed upon me how much I managed to improve my health in 2018.  The last two times I saw her, I could hardly walk for 15 minutes and my entire body was so achey and painful.  I was also depressed and unhappy and terribly lonely.  While I am hardly a paragon of physical or emotional health, I am so much happier and healthier than I was a year ago, and this give me hope that I can continue to improve. 

 

My goals for February:

 

8 workouts

Maintain weekly step goal even when it is too cold to go outside and walk

Create something already, fer crying out loud

 

WOW, so 2018 was an extraordinary year for me, easily the most significant of my adult life.  From this outside nothing has changed, most people that I interact with have absolutely no idea that my whole life has been turned inside out and that this year I got my heart’s desire … I have been reunited with my brother.  Actually my heart’s desire was to be reunited with my mother and my brother, but learning about her and how much she missed me and how she told my brother, literally on her deathbed, to find me … well, it’s far more than I ever hoped for.  Obviously this dwarfs everything else that has or has not happened in 2018, to the point that it almost seems ridiculous to reflect on what I did or did not accomplish in 2018 or how the year went.  Still, I am going to try and to do just that, so here we go.

 

I had three goals for 2018:

 

1.     1. Live in the present and try to enjoy it.  (Instead of, oh, life will really start in August when we go to Prague.)

For the most part, I feel I did pretty well with this, especially once it became clear that we might not go to Prague at all … and indeed so far we haven’t (although we are still hopeful about 2019 and still waiting to hear if our visas are approved).  However, there is nothing measureable about this goal, so I can’t really say for sure how I did.

 

2.       2. Pilates or yoga 50x this year.  (Originally was 100, but downgraded to 50.)

I did 70 workouts this year – mostly short ab (and some arm) work workouts on youtube, so not really pilates or yoga, but the implicit goal was to improve core strength, and I have definitely done this.  Counting the workouts was really helpful and I will continue to use this in 2019.  The overall goal was to improve my health, and I am proud that I have accomplished that in 2018 – I feel much stronger both physically and emotionally than I did this time last year.  A year ago, I literally thought I might die in the next few years, I felt so poorly.  Now I feel empowered to continue to work on improving my health.

 

3.      3. Write more; specifically 

a.          50 online journal entries

HAHAHAHAHA not even close (this is entry 20 for the year).  I was expecting to write every week, but it was more like once a month.

b.         3 completed pieces of any kind (academic, essay, chapter of a book, etc.)

Yes, I did this!  I’m working on a sort of memoir (that I don’t actually expect to be published), and completed four, I think essays for it.  I also gave two OAS talks which required me to put together two PP presentations, so I think those should count.  And at work, or course, I completed many many pieces of curriculum, including a complete curriculum for two separate books.

c.          Continue paper journal, 2-3 entries a week

I did really well with this until after we got back from Japan and then it sort of fell off. 

 

So even though I fell considerably short for two of my three writing goals, I’m actually considering it an overall success because I have gotten back into writing again.  I even managed to complete some pieces and I actually started several more things, so go me.  On another creative level, I made some jewelry for the first time in years, and I also completed two sewing projects, which is very gratifying.  And I had an unwritten goal to read 75 books, and I actually read about 100.  I say about because the total is 112, but 10 or 12 of those are single Sherlock Homes stories, so the total is artificially inflated.

 

Overall, I am just in a much better place than I was this time last year – my will to live has been greatly diminished for the past two years or so, due largely to my poor health, but also not knowing what the hell to do with myself post PhD.  I feel like I’ve been given a huge reset this year, and I am more grateful than words can say.

October was a quiet month (as opposed to my usual fast-paced glamorous life, snort).  E was in Prague for nearly two weeks, and instead of making plans with friends, like I usually do, I chose to spend the time alone – neither of the two friends I usually make plans with had been in touch with me enough to know my husband was gone, and I just felt like fuck you both, I’m tired of doing all the lifting in this relationship.  The first weekend he was gone I took myself to the Victorian Radicals exhibit at OKC MOA, and the second weekend I stayed home.  Both weekends I sewed and read and watched movies and actually really enjoyed myself.

 

Speaking of Prague, while he was there E had a long meeting with the visa person at the Czech Academy of Sciences, which included 3 phone calls with the visa woman at the Czech Embassy in D.C. (who vetoed my original application), and the woman in Prague was like, “That bitch is crazy,” about the woman at the embassy.  Prague is redoing all our paperwork for a Feb or March starting date, and then we will reapply to the embassy for our visas, now that we have the apostille and translations of our wedding license.  If they approve, great, if not, I will go with E for three months and then I’ll have to come back for three months and he’ll come back for part if not all of that three months and then I’ll go again, and who knows.  Although I was super depressed about it at first, at this point I’m like fuck this, who wants to go to Prague anyway?  Which is stupid because I desperately want to go to Prague.  I’m just tired of being disappointed.

 

Let’s see I actually had some goals for October. 

 

1)         Get back to my ab and arm workouts

I did 4 arms and 3 abs workout in October, which is not great, but OTOH is better than 0 arms and 0 abs workouts.  Definitely room for improvement in November!

 

2)         Continue my daily walks

 

I made my daily step goal 22 days in October, so while not perfect, I think that’s pretty good.

 

3)         Make some jewelry as a birthday gift for my friend M who turns 50 at the end of the month

 

Yup, I did this.  She seemed really taken aback, like I had overdone it, but she was the only person to make a fuss about my birthday (she got me a balloon and some chocolate), and I knew her husband would be a dick and I wanted to do something nice.  It’s not like it cost me hardly anything – I did buy a pair of sterling silver hoops for a bunch of semi-precious stone little earring dangles, but I made all the dangles and had all the findings and stones already in my stash.

 

4)         Go the Cirque du Soleil show I want to see

 

Yes!  It was actually last night, so technically November.  Despite what I said above, I gave in and asked my friend L if she wanted to go and she did and we had a great time.  I told her that I wanted to stay in better touch and she agreed, saying she has not texted/called because she didn’t want to be the intruding/unwanted widow friend, or get me in trouble at work.  I told her that both of those were ridiculous.  So hopefully she will follow through.

 

5)         Spend some time cleaning up my sewing room (again)

 

I didn’t do this because I was too busy actually crafting – jewelry making and sewing – in my sewing room, so even though this is technically a NO, I’m actually calling this a YES in spirit, because I have really wanted to get back into creating stuff and am thrilled with  my bad self that I have made a start.

 

Goals for November

Hit my steps goal 6 days a week.

Arms and/or ab workout 2 days a week.

Finish the two sewing projects I have going.

Give kickass bioarch presentation (invited talk at Ponca OAS)

 

We flew into Osaka, and took a train to Kyoto, where we spent two days sightseeing in the rain.  The first day we went to a castle and a temple (both UNESCO World Heritage Sites), and I think something else, but I forget - oh I know, this huge street shopping area, where I bought some gifts and souvenirs.  Next day we went to several museums.  The thing about Kyoto is that you will never feel like you've done enough - there are 39 UNESCO World Heritage Sites, and we saw two.  But we had a good time.  Oh and I discovered soft serve green tea ice cream served by street vendors everywhere, and that stuff is like crack.  Gimmee.

We then took a train to Tsuruga, which is basically directly east of Tokyo, and on the west coast of the island.  The train ride was long, but very enjoyable - trains are far more comfortable for travel than planes, plus the scenery was awesome.  We got to the train station, and our hotel was literally like 30 meters away, which was very convenient.  It was still pretty early, plus there was a yearly festival happening, so we walked through the festival, saw the local shrine, and continued walking down to the seashore.  That night we had a delicious traditional fish dinner with several of E's compadres.

Since we were in Tsuruga for a conference, we didn't do as much sight seeing as we might have, but we did manage to see the fish market, the five lakes region, and Fukui Dinosaur Museum, which is easily the most amazing dinosaur museum I have ever seen, and, I suspect, the best in the world, and the Jomon Museum.

Of course half way through our trip the typhoon hit.  We only got the edge of it, but it was still pretty impressive, and did bring down two trees at our hotel.  Plus our airport was shut down and heavily damaged - it is on an island and the only way in/out was damaged when a tanker crashed into it.  Many of our comrades had to spend thousands to get home.  We waited a couple of days, and when it became clear that Osaka airport would not open in time for our return flight we called American Airlines and they simply put us on a flight out of Narita (Tokyo).  They even managed to arrange it so that we were still able to make our connecting flights in the US.  So it ended up costing us about $300 bucks in train fares (we had to take 3 trains to get to Tokyo), and added about 12 hours onto our trip, but ce la vie, we eventually got home just when we were supposed to (a week ago).

Overall a very enjoyable trip and I'm glad I went and got to see a different part of Japan.  However, I don't see me returning to Japan any time soon ... there are too many other places I'd rather go.  Next year the conference is in Athens, and we have an invite to go early and stay with friends, so I'm looking forward to that - I've been wanting to go back to Greece since we went there in 2002 for our honeymoon.  In the meantime ... jet lag.  Argh.

Well it's August, and guess what - I'm NOT in Prague.  Grrrr.  Things have been pushed back to "probably October," which on one hand is super frustrating, but on the other hand is so far out of my control that it's difficult to work up any amount of rage over it.  As things stand now, we are waiting on the Czech Embassy for our visas.  We are going to Japan for ten days in early September (assuming we get our bloody passports back from the embassy) and in September or October E has to go to CA for a job ($20K for a week of work, so yeah, it's worth putting off the trip).  I tell myself this will make things easier - I'll only have to pack for fall and winter.  Well we'll get there eventually, even if it's only for 3 months at a time (if our visas are not approved), and in the meantime, life goes on.

So July.  Do you remember my Hermes loving friend, one half of the alarmingly accomplished couple, the Cs?  The Cs split a few years back, but I have remained friendly with both of them, and C (female half) was in OK for a gallery showing/opening, so I went to OKC to spend an afternoon/evening with her in early July.  She has morphed into a much more interesting woman, and I am thrilled.  I had an amazing and intense time with her and am eager to continue our friendship in Europe (or where ever).

Otherwise, July was pretty quiet.  No other social engagements.  I didn't have to go our yearly July work conference this year, so that was nice.  Just went to the office, worked, came home, read, and hung out with the husband.  Oh wait, he was gone for two weeks in July, so I was very very quiet in July.  I am becoming reconciled to my quiet life and even learning to enjoy and appreciate it my solitude and the freedom it gives me.

Books:  I am up to 71 books on my reading challenge.  Obviously I will easily make my 75 goal this year, and will probably make over 100, which I don't manage most years.  I have read more than usual this year because I am having issues with anxiety.  Although I've always been a fretful sort of person, this is different.  I assume it's mostly hormonal (yes perimenopause is still kicking me hard in the arse), but also some of it is the current political situation in my country, which continues for feel Kafka-esque.  Also the whole thing with my brother - while not exactly anxiety inducing, it definitely makes me crawl far too far up my own arse into an introspective fugue that's hard to get out of.  At any rate, when I'm anxious (or up my own arse), the *only* thing that helps is reading.  Not TV, not exercise, not sewing or coloring (which I generally find soothing), not talking.  Just reading.  It's the only thing that takes me far enough outside of myself to help.  So I read.  A lot.  Because I'm anxious.  And up my own arse.  A lot.

The year is more than half over, so time for a little goals check in.

1.  Live in the present and try to enjoy it (instead of oh, life will really start in August when we go to Prague).
Yeah, actually, I feel like I've done a pretty good job with this, although since this isn't a concrete type of goal, I don't have any way to measure it.

2.  Workout 50x this year.
I am up to 44, I think.  My "workouts" are not very impressive - I either do a short arms/weights video or an equally short abs video.  Yesterday, for the first time, I did them both on the same day.  But even though they are *very* basic, they are actually making a difference, and I do feel stronger.  I'm also getting a 20 minute walk in most days, and most weekends I up it to 40-50 minutes, so overall I'm pleased with how I've done on this.

3. Write more; specifically
     3A.  50 online journal entries
     Whoa.  Definitely behind on this one.

     3B.  Complete 3 pieces of any kind (academic, essay, chapter of a book, etc.)
     I've only done one thing so far this year, and that was several months ago.  Although, honestly, I feel like completing our visa applications should count - that was a massive project!

     3C.  Continue paper journal 2-3 entries a week.  I have been inconsistent with this, but I manage once a week, on average.  

Hmm.  I think I need to update my goals.  Oh hey that can be a separate post, because this is already pretty long, and obviously I need to inflate my numbers, snort.

How are you my friends?